A Poem for My Husband and My Endo Sisters

Seventeen years ago a special man came into my life.
We fell in love and became man and wife.
Let me tell you about this man,
Also the upsets in life which we didn't plan.
I know there are people with more hiccups than me,
In their shoes I wouldn't like to be.
It all started in February 1997 more than a year ago,
These awful pains which I thought would go.
Thinking it was too heavy work and they would fade,
Day in and day out I carried on with the chores of my trade.
My Darling Husband, Frank was always there,
The pain and sadness in me he could no longer bear.
To love someone so very much,
To see them in pain as such.
Doctors, after Doctors trying to explain the pain,
No Answers just the impression I was going insane.
I've always had willpower, a happy personality and a strong mind,
So why no answers, Why do they act so blind?
Why can't they understand whats going on inside,
The pain and sadness now I can no longer hide.
In the meantime I was diagnosed with cervix cancer, that brought upon fears,
But there was always Frank to take me in his arms
and wipe away the tears.
Months went by and the pain still remained the same,
What are the doctors doing with me, playing some sort of game?
One night in January of 1998 the doctor was called one night,
As the pain had become so bad, oh it gave me a terrible fright.
He was the only doctor that was so kind,
In the past they were so very hard to find.
Well, time went by and March had arrived,
God only knows how all this time I surrived.
Day in and Day out the pains carried on with me,
But Friday March the 13th I'd finally be free.
Then I'll have a laparoscopy, they'll remove the cyst.
Taking my husband out will be first on my list.
So the day is finally here,
Thank you Lord, a end to all my pain and fears.
But No.. I guess I was terribly mistaken,
I was happy though when I was awaken.
I had no idea what was removed from me,
But at that time I felt happy and free.
The doctor talked to Frank and explained what was done,
From all of that I had understood none.
I just wanted no pains but that only lasted for a week,
The pains returned and then I started to freak.
Frank pushed and pushed me to look at the internet,
so I'd know what's wrong with me,
So finally I faced it and I looked and discovered I'd never be free.
That big word "Endometriosis" put a lump within my throat,
There I sat in the chair, not knowing if I was there or afloat.
I thought Endo was something that if they took it away,
Away is where it would stay.
I didn't know whether to laugh, to yell or to cry,
So I laughed to cover the thought of wanting to die.
Weeks went by and then the depression set in bad,
Oh god, whats happening to me? Am I really going mad.
I want that happy Angela back the one everyone used to know,
That happy, strong fighter, where did she go?
So I started to pull up and fight, I tried anything, day or night.
I'd think of all the lovely things, Happiness, Nature. What life can actually bring.
That worked for perhaps a hour or two,
Then back came the depression. Oh now what should I do?.
Please someone give me a answer, I can't go on like this anymore,
I can't fight these pains with my mind like this,
that is for sure.
The answer came from the lady at the corner store,
Here try these she said, they have helped me,
that's for sure.
They were a health tablet "Dong Quai" and I'd try anything,
As long as there was no addiction that they could bring.
Within days I could feel my mind strength returning,
Oh! I was so happy I could stand up and sing.
Now I know I can fight "Endo" down the line,
But naturally it's only a matter of time.
Only those with "Endo" can explain what this pain can do to one,
And believe me, my Endo sisters and spouses, it's no fun.
So all those out there that treat us like it's in our mind,
Don't judge us, as someone you love, one day Endo in them they might find.

Thank you, My Darling Husband Frank for standing by me,
It's been very hard I know this I can see.
My Moods, My Sadness and my strange ways,
But you'd help and teach me everyday.
Without you, I know I'd be lost,
Like that of an ant in a heavy frost.
In life at times we don't like to deal with reality,
But really that's the only way to be free.
We have to fight obstacles in our course,
Find different ways, Find a different source.
Within the deepness of my heart,
I'm glad you are there as a big part.
It's a nice feeling to have a guardian angel close by,
And you are mine except perhaps you cannot fly.
All the years we have shared our life,
Together, and not just as husband and wife.
You always protected me, Always made things right,
Perhaps that was the star up there I always saw so bright.
Between you and your mother,
In one strange way or another.

Angela Kemp

Email Angela

Angela's Website