A Solution to Kids and Chores:

I remember discussing situations with my children, and getting them to help out with responsibilities in the home. I know that this is a common problem for all parents, with or without chronic pain, but it seems to be a bigger problem for parents who suffer with chronic pain. I think that being chronically ill, and a parent, effects the entire household and it is something we have little or no control over.

For a long time I have had an ongoing battle with my children on doing their chores and picking up behind themselves. Please understand that I am not expecting my children to do things above and beyond their capacity, but am simply working toward getting them to be 'aware' of the messes that they leave behind on a regular basis and to help out with the daily events of life. Well, I think that I have finally found a partial solution, and wanted to share it with you all.

For a long time I have worked toward making chore lists - of one kind or another - in order to help my children in understanding their responsibilities in our home. Time after time, and for one reason or another, these 'charts' would fail in accomplishing what I had intended. Soooo this last week I decided to approach this from another side.. and so far I am VERY pleased with the results.

This may sound like a strange concept to some, but I have actually shifted the element of awareness and responsibility to them. What I did this time was to make, on my computer, a weekly chart. It is set up pretty much the same as a chart you would use to check off the chores as they are completed. But this time I switched it on them. At the end of each day, I don't check the chart - they do.. And we don't simply mark off the things that they have done.. they grade themselves and their accomplishments throughout the day.

All I ask is that they be honest with themselves, and so far I have been very amazed at what they are learning!! More than once this week one of them has come to me and stated that he did not realize how much he was NOT doing, and how poorly he was doing what he was assigned to do. I have a 'revolving chore assignment' so no one feels picked on - heaven knows that they should never have to do anything unfair! - and they are responsible each day in looking back over that day and grading themselves.

I can not tell you how much this has changed the atmosphere in our home, and how I am no longer the "BAD GUY". I just thought that I would share this with you all and perhaps it might help just one other person here to find a more peaceful place in their own home, as it has for me.